talking about sexual trauma

Our civilizations are traumatized by sexual violence. A poison we should neutralize by talking

Date Rape

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I was naive enough to think or hope that Date Rape doesn’t exist any more. An article on a German website taught me otherwise:

http://kleinerdrei.org/2017/02/ein-brief-an-den-mann-der-mich-missbraucht-hat/

Of course it was completely naive to think that a culture of consense and a positive, reponsible attitude towards sexuality – the own and other’s – should now be prevalent at least among younger people.

On the one side, the attitude towards sexuality is very much a cultural thing, and so quite complex. On the other side: There are rules. Very simple ones. „No means no“ for example. But that’s not good enough. The rule to follow is: „Yes means yes“ (and nothing else means yes: Not passivity, or not saying no). I cite Jaclyn Friedman in the introduction to the very interesting collection of essays „Yes means yes“:

„The goal is that enthusiastic-consent models will help to change the thinking from „sex when someone says no and fights back is wrong“ to „sex when someone doesn’t openly and enthusiastically want is wrong“.
I do strongly believe that rape is allowed to keep occuring, because it is socially acceptable to the much larger group of people who aren’t rapists but just „don’t get what the big deal is“ or believe it to be the victim’s fault.“

I like these cartoons a lot about consens and how it is often wrongly treated:

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/how-society-treats-consent/

And allow me a question: What’s up with people who think as Friedman describes – and the longer I think about it, the more I fear that there are quite some who think like that.

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